A recent Senate investigation has laid bare the disarray within the federal workforce, revealing a government operation that looks more like a bad episode of Ghost Hunters than a functioning bureaucracy. According to the report, only 6% of federal employees actually show up at the office full-time, while nearly a third work entirely remotely. Even worse, many of these “remote workers” seem to have redefined the concept of work altogether. Senator Joni Ernst, who spearheaded the investigation, quipped that spotting an actual bureaucrat in D.C.’s government buildings these days might be harder than finding Bigfoot.
Before the pandemic, teleworking was a rare perk enjoyed by just 3% of federal employees. Fast forward a few years, and full-time office attendance has barely inched up to 6%, while federal buildings sit mostly empty. This despite taxpayers coughing up $16 billion annually to maintain government offices with an average occupancy rate of 12%. Irony abounds—particularly when the head of the General Services Administration, tasked with managing this underutilized real estate, works from her home in Missouri. Meanwhile, the Environmental Protection Agency’s office water supply grew bacteria due to inactivity—a fitting metaphor for a bureaucracy that seems to have stagnated in more ways than one.
As expected, federal unions are digging in their heels, insisting on keeping fully equipped workstations for employees who barely use them. They’re also adamantly defending remote work policies, even as evidence mounts of rampant inefficiencies. Some workers, it seems, have taken the phrase “remote work” a little too literally. One Social Security Administration employee, for example, spent years running a home inspection business while allegedly working remotely, with his mother pitching in to send emails on his behalf. Apparently, even the definition of “productivity” has become a bit… flexible.
Elon Musk, co-chair of the incoming Trump administration’s Department of Government Efficiency, has offered a blunt solution: mandate employees to return to the office or let them resign. Such a policy, Musk argues, would streamline government operations and eliminate waste. Even President Joe Biden once championed a return to in-person work, declaring in his 2022 State of the Union that there’s no substitute for face-to-face collaboration. However, the Biden administration later signed a contract locking the Social Security Administration into remote work through 2029, despite spending $120 million on office renovations for a building that’s now a glorified storage unit.
Adding to the absurdity, many federal employees continue to collect inflated salaries based on high-cost-of-living locations, even after relocating to cheaper areas. Some agencies claim to enforce occasional in-office requirements, but enforcement appears laughably lax. Ernst’s report paints a damning picture of a government bloated with inefficiencies, where unions wield more power over personnel policies than elected officials. For taxpayers footing the bill, it’s yet another reminder that while government accountability might be a pipe dream, its ability to waste money is as robust as ever.
